Hey there!
My name is Ben Milston and I grew up in Sydney, Australia. I was born into a very academic family (of which I was not nearly as academic), went to a good school and as far it appeared on the outside, I had a good life, yet for the first 25 years of my life, I was struggling and suffering on the inside.
I felt a huge pressure to succeed in the mainstream ideas of success, and the weight and worries from my fear of failure created a non-stop negative and judgemental inner voice that would constantly come down on me like a ton of bricks. Thoughts of not being good enough, a failure, stupid, not worthy of success or happiness and that it was all my fault played on repeat every minute of everyday.
I was also a small and scrawny kid and had gotten used to being bullied, assuming by now there must be a lot wrong with me if I was always the one being picked on. And, on top of this I was the classic people pleaser, always feeling that I needed to be bending over backwards for others in order to feel accepted or liked.
I never felt like I belonged, and felt like I could never amount to anything that society had expected of me.
By 15 I had turned to drugs and alcohol as a means of escapism, or to just numb the pain. For the next decade I would be struggling with heavy depression, anxiety, self-doubt, insecurities and fears – of which would lead me to attempt suicide…twice.
I had seen councilors and therapists. I had been prescribed meds and self-medicated. I was cutting myself…I really didn’t know what else to do.
I knew that I didn’t really want to end my life, but rather I just wanted the pain to end. But how?
After somehow making it through a degree that I didn’t want to do, I moved countries, joined the army and even became religious – all in the hope of being able to better fit into the societal and social pressures all around me.
This was semi-working for about two years, until an injury and a break-up drove me back down into the self-destructive world I was so familiar with. It seemed as though nothing I could do, and no where I could go would fix my problems. I was a victim to the world around me, convinced that I wasn’t deserving of a better life, or even a happy life. With nowhere else to turn, lying injured in my bed, I came across my first book on self-development, ‘The Power Of Now’.
This book changed my life, and my massive transformative journey had began.
Once I was released from the army, I disconnected from society and started along my path to rewire my beliefs on ‘what is life’ and ‘what is meant for me’. For 6 years I went off to travel the world, exploring different cultures and placing myself in intense situations with the intention of understanding life, myself, and universal spirit more.
I hitchhiked across Europe, sleeping in parks and forests, and dumpster-dived food from the bins. I volunteered in eco-communities, sat multiple 10 day silent meditation retreats, partook in dozens of healing ceremonies and organized and lead a four-month horse caravan through raw and untouched Mongolia. I dove into understanding my ego, inner healing and spirituality with all my being. Through these unique and extreme experiences, I came to learn a lot about myself and how much I had previously been the victim of my own thoughts and destructive mindset.
One of the biggest lessons I learnt and was able to fully grasp, was how my thoughts shaped my beliefs, my fears and doubts, and really, my entire identity. I realized that it was my thoughts that formed my perspective on life, and my perspective on life affected my actions and emotions, ultimately affecting whether I lived a life trapped in the belief structures and systems brought on by the outside world or I lived a life in alignment with my true values. It became apparent that if I could change my thought patterns then I could change my life, and live an authentic and fulfilling life, no longer the victim to self-sabotage or external pressures and expectations.
I began to appreciate how absolutely incredible our mind really is. Far more than we give it credit for and far more than we have ever been taught at school, by society or even by our parents. We have the power and potential to literally write and rewrite our narrative on life. If we see something as bad, that is because we are telling ourselves it is bad, not because it is. If we have fears, it is because we are creating a fearful experience in our mind. If we believe we cannot do something, then we will not. Our external life is a direct reflection of what is happening on the inside.
While at first this realization was really heavy for me, because it meant that all of my depression, my self-sabotage, and my insecurities could be seen as ‘my fault’, it was also super empowering, knowing that with the right tools, I could master my thoughts, change my beliefs, adapt my identity and create the life that I wanted.
Now, I’m not saying that bad things can’t happen to you in your life. Things out of your control. Things that can hurt you and put you down…What I’m saying is that the life you experience depends greatly on how these events end up impacting you. How you internalize them. If they are events that stay with you and negatively impact you for years to come, or if you learn to heal, grow from them and allow them to empower and strengthen you.
While at first this realization was really heavy for me, because it meant that all of my depression, my self-sabotage, and my insecurities could be seen as ‘my fault’, it was also super empowering, knowing that with the right tools, I could master my thoughts, change my beliefs, adapt my identity and create the life that I wanted.
Now, I’m not saying that bad things can’t happen to you in your life. Things out of your control. Things that can hurt you and put you down…What I’m saying is that the life you experience depends greatly on how these events end up impacting you. How you internalize them. If they are events that stay with you and negatively impact you for years to come, or if you learn to heal, grow from them and allow them to empower and strengthen you.
Since my journey of self-discovery and self-development began, I continued to develop myself daily for many more years, eager to learn more about the workings of my brain, ego, emotions and the interconnectedness between everything and everyone.
Now, after close to a decade of massive personal transformation, I have come full circle in becoming a Mindset & Transformation Coach.
I help support those struggling with depression & anxiety and are done with mainstream conventional approaches, through a journey of holistic healing, to release from feeling empty, lost and overwhelmed, to take back control of their inner & outer world, restore hope and find the happiness & inner peace they’ve been looking for.
I have found my passion and my calling. I am happily married with a beautiful baby girl and live a life that fulfills me. I would never have imagined in my wildest dreams that all of this could have been possible for me just a number years ago.
I know you may have lost hope. I know you may have unsuccessfully already tried a lot of different things. And I get how frustrating it is to really feel like ‘you’re’ the problem…but the truth is, you just haven’t found the right approach.
Which is why I’m so thrilled to be able to offer you a completely complimentary session to walk you through the Framework I personally created that helped me heal from past traumas, depression, anxiety, my inner critic, self-doubts and fears, and has helped countless more people completely turn their lives around too.
www.benmilston.com
Soul Searchers Finding Clarity And Direction:
The True You Method
The 3-Step Process To Create A Life Of Genuine Purpose And Passion That Brings The Happiness And Inner Peace You Truly Desire
(Even If You Have No Idea Where To Start, Struggle With External Pressures And An Inner Critic Telling You It’s Not Possible)
The Soul Searcher’s Guide to Breaking Free From Social Pressures & Societal Expectations To Live A Happy, Fulfilling & Purposeful Life,
In Alignment With Their True Self
Charge What You’re Worth
Practical Mindfulness & Mindset Techniques
